Required viewing for anyone interested in media coverage and the war in Iraq. Good Bye Lenin! — Low-key comedy with smart critiques about both the former East Bloc and Western capitalist culture. Kill Bill Vol. 2 — Great fun, and even slightly touching. Team America: World Police — Totally inept as a social critique, but technically brilliant. The puppet sex scene might be the funniest 20 seconds in the history of film. Fahrenheit 9/11 — I wish Moore played things a little straighter, but it’s entertaining propaganda. What Alice Found — The fact that this movie won an award at Sundance is a giant shit stain on the film festival. Highwaymen — One of those movies that’s so bad you start laughing at it as it goes along. Jesus (James Caviezel) stars. Wilbur Wants to Kill Himself — I was wishing Wilbur was successful after about the first 10 minutes. Critics way off on this one. The Saddest Music in the World — If not “getting” Guy Maddin makes me a rube, then that’s OK. I’m a rube. A few chuckles here and there, but overall just bad. Uncovered: The War On Iraq — Hardly anything new here if you’d been paying attention to the news in 2003, and the production quality is below that of small-town local news. A journalist for the Orange County Register tried out the DVD rental services from Netflix, Blockbuster, and Wal-Mart for four months and deemed Netflix the best, but only by a hair. Here at the office, yesterday, today, and tomorrow were deemed “Denim Days” by HR, allowing employees to wear jeans to work for three days in a row. While I appreciate the idea of the boss-man giving back to his hard-working staff by allowing end-of-the-year denim, it’s really a net negative. Sure, I like the comfort of a relaxed fit ringspun bootcut as much as the next guy, but as I walk the halls, get coffee, and cumshot attend meetings, I’ve got to look at some people who should never, ever wear jeans. Marshall Field’s. Not ever. You know who you are. Attention all Gen Y hipsters: Garden State is now available on video. The kind of email we get quite often at this really kick-ass movie site called cin-o-matic. Maybe you’ve heard of it? With a recent poll showing slippage in Americans’ support for the war in Iraq, the effort got a real shot in the arm over the weekend with an Army Times poll that shows fully 60% of active-duty military say the war is worth fighting. Jiminy Christmas! Great sale at Nordstrom. It’s 5 degrees today in Minneapolis, with a wind chill of -18. Flannel-lined chinos. J.Crew. On clearance! All hail the fall clearance sales! U.S. Gulag Watch: We’re now wrapping prisoners in Israeli flags? And mock executing an Iraqi teen in front of the boy’s father and brother? What the fuck is wrong with us? I thought Meet the Parents totally sucked, so I won’t be seeing the sequel over the holidays, or ever, and you won’t either if you put any stock in The Onion AV Club’s reviews. Man, Tony Blair sounds really clueless when he says “We are not a nation of quitters” while ensconced in Baghdad’s Green Zone. I guess there are a few more bad apples. We’re up to a full bushel now. Come to think of it, Saddam used to cut off prisoners’ ears, we only stick lit cigarettes in their ears, so it’s a definite upgrade for the Iraqis. Doo doo doo doodoo doo doo. Vanilla Ice is making a comeback, starring in something called The Helix: Loaded, a god-awful-looking sci-fi film about the quest for an Enlightenment pill, or something. Word to your mother. No word yet on whether Hollywood plans to show any real carnage. Look everybody! Jerry Bremer gets a medal for being a total fuckup! I mean, what else can you say about this picture? Jerry Bremer was a completely incompetent viceroy, who ran an utterly failed administration, whose decisions directly led to the current quagmire in Iraq, and he gets a goddamn medal? Who gets a medal next? Early reviews are in, and the critics are falling all over themselves with praise for Clint Eastwood’s Million Dollar Baby. Cliff Clavin Factoid: Hilary Boys Don’t Cry Swank put on 17lbs. of muscle to play the lead. Cin-O-Matic is proud to announce a kick-ass mobile version to go along with the regular web site. All your favorites are there, like your video watch list, your “in theaters” watch list, and movies playing at your favorite theater. It’s been in beta for about six months, and I’ve found it very handy whenever I’m at the video store, or out on the town. Just a great segment on last week’s Inside the NFL was Bob Costas interviewing Barry Sanders and Jim Brown about their careers, why they retired, and touchdown celebrations. It’s great to see T.E. 2 on the must-read list for US forces in Iraq. But this is a book best read before you get into a mideast quaqmire, not during it. Jesus’ Bar Tips includes recipes for Jesus-related drinks, such as my personal favorite: the Rusty Nail. Sacrilegious Christmas cards, via Urban Outfitters. Speaking of religion, thank God for the monks who began brewing Affligem Ale sometime in 1074. This stuff doesn’t just taste great, at 7% alc./vol., it eases the pain fast. Speaking of getting drunk on Belgian whites, the New York Times offers some new options for the dreaded hangover. In a disturbing bit of news, Dr. Linda C. Degutis, an associate professor of emergency medicine and public health at Yale, said hangovers were “incredibly understudied.” Get to work slacker doctors, and figure this shit out! It’s no wonder why Target is eating Wal-Mart’s lunch, when they market Isaac Mizrahi halter wraps like this. Loving the reader reviews for this item, too. If you’re a woman, or a guy looking for a gift for your wife/girlfriend/mistress, please order this item now! 2000 Volvo S70, via ebay. If anyone out there is readerland is looking for a deal on a black 1993 Volvo 850 GLT, please send me an email. 139K miles. Almost everything works. On the left: Ben (aka Pride). On the right: Ted (aka Joy). Baby, it’s gettin’ cold outside. These large corporations provide literally millions of Americans jobs where they can “hide out” from any real work or responsibility, and not do much of anything besides send and receive email, IM their buddies, attend pointless meetings, read weblogs, buy stuff online, and take long lunches where, hopefully, they consume one or more alcoholic beverages. I’d think the Canadians would be down with that program. The British just get it. Last night I was poking around the World Wide Web looking for golf gear and ran across a Brit golf mag called GolfPunk. And instead of another tip from David Leadbetter on how to use the sun to get your body behind the ball in your backswing, they have tips worth a damn: women called Bunker Babes who demonstrate the rules of golf. Block Headwear Stewart hat (charcoal), via Mark Shale. Here’s a quick Thanksgiving movie guide, courtesy of the best damn movie site on the whole WWW. And now for some turkeys. Christmas With the Kranks – Tim Allen. After the Sunset – Salma Hayek. Another great electorate analysis from the LA Times’ Ron Brownstein, about how Bush kicked ass in the fast-growing “exurbs,” while Kerry did better in the inner-tier suburbs. I witnessed this first-hand here in Minnesota, where the inner-tier ‘burb Edina (where I live) voted for a Democratic presidential candidate for the first time since FDR, while the hinterlands, such as Savage, Chanhassen, and Plymouth — places where Applebee’s is a good place to eat — all went big-time for Bush. Something else Brownstein gets at (but not nearly to my satisfaction) is how it’s actually cool to be a Republican in these exurban communities. I’d go one step further and argue that, at least among my peer group, which are mainly yuppies but include a few exurbanites, it’s not only cool to be GOP, it’s a social and cultural requirement. Sure, most of them reject GOP policy on things like abortion, the death penalty, gay marriage, and some even see the value of tax revenue for things like education. But any self-respecting go-getting, up-and-coming striver with a new Audi in the driveway or a new house with a 2-car garage and a great room needs be a Republican simply as part of his brand. I’ve waited over a year for them to come in, but Coolestshop has finally landed the Adidas “Europa TT” track jacket in black. Adidas “Europa TT” track jacket, via Coolestshop. You just cannot make this shit up. Every last shred of dignity, if there was any left, gone. Secretary of State Colin L. Powell shared information with reporters Wednesday about Iran’s nuclear program that was classified and based on an unvetted, single source who provided information that two U.S. officials said yesterday was highly significant if true but has not yet been verified. Cheers to GQ for including Rummy, but jeers to GQ for excluding Bush, Cheney, Powell, Rice, and Wolfowitz. The tattoo on the back of former Army sergeant Matt LaBranche says, “I’ve come to bring you hell.” Indeed, it sounds as though this fella should be in Ward 54 at Walter Reed, with the other poor souls completely fucked up by the perpetual war crime that’s happening in Iraq. Before the war, LaBranche was living in Saco, Maine, with his wife and children and had no history of mental illness. He deployed to Iraq with a National Guard transportation company based in Bangor. He came home a different person. Just three days after he was discharged from Walter Reed, he was arrested for threatening his former wife. When he goes to court Dec. 9, he could be looking at jail time. He lies on a couch at his brother’s house most days now, cumshot struggling with the image of the Iraqi woman who died in his arms after he shot her, and the children he says caught some of his bullets. His speech is pocked with obscenities. On a recent outing with friends, he became so enraged when he saw a Muslim family that he had to take medication to calm down. He is seeing a therapist, but only once every two weeks. OK for an occupying army to shoot families in the fucking water as they try to flee from an indiscrimiate bombing of their city? On Tuesday Shrub and the Mrs. Walter Reed Army Medical Center. Hey, it looks like this site and The Onion are on the same page with the Blue State Sodomy thing. Lebowski tee. Donnie, Walter, The Dude. After getting a BA at Wisconsin, I kinda dropped out of society for a while, walked the earth, and ended up living in New Zealand for six months. I took only $2000 and had cash left over when I left. Buying a car was the biggest expense ($500), but the rest was ridiculously cheap. I joined a kick-ass golf club for $60. Rent was $25/month. Lift tickets were $10. The beach was free. Just make sure you end up on the east side of the Southern Alps. The weather on the west side makes Seattle look like Palm Springs. Department of Corrections: I have it on very good authority from a reader that the Camper Stuart, mentioned yesterday, blows. They’re “uncomfortable as hell,” and “awful,” and will be discontinued after this season. Well, now that the election and election analysis is over, we can get back to the business of conspicuous clothing and footwear consumption, seeing movies, and ogling Babes of Middle East Media. 16235 (aka “the bowling shoes”), and now they’ve added a sweet new, slightly dressed-up line called the Stuart. Saw Sideways last night, and didn’t like it nearly as much as the critics. It’s essentially Swingers for the early 40-something set, but not nearly as much fun. The protag, Miles, (Paul Giamatti) is such a tool there is no way in hell he would score with a babe like Virginia Madsen; not even in the movies. He does, however, get in a nice rip on Merlot.